The rapid influx of celebrity sightings didn't stop this weekend. Among some of the more interesting encounters:

--Either Matthew Broderick is a boy scout, or he's cheating on Sarah Jessica Parker with a much older woman! Er, actually, the "Election" cutie-pie was seen in the Flatiron District this weekend helping on old woman across the street. No clue as to who the elderly hanger-on was, but my spy suggests it might have been his mom or "an in-law from Sarah's side of the family." Anybody wanting to start blasphemous rumors about Matt being a rude ogre should ignore this story.

--Another spy, on her way from an AA meeting in the East Village (meaning this story ain't no drunken hallucination!), had the unfortunate pleasure of spying former MTV veejay/freakazoid Jesse Camp approaching her. He was apparently wearing his uniform (ratty jean jacket and cutup blue jeans) and was curiously described as having "birthing hips." (Please God, don't let this person breed!) I happen to know quite reliably where Jesse lives -- somewhat in the vicinity of Leonardo DiCaprio hangout Chaos -- and I avoid that area quite consistently for that very reason!

--Not all stars in the neighborhood are so terrifying. Just a block or two away, another source had a wonderfully unpretentious meal at the Des Moines Diner and happened to notice "Madigan Men" star Gabriel Byrne carefully reading his Sunday New York Times. Was he looking for a new job? (His television debut is hardly breaking new ground.) Gabby, I beseech you, return to the world of motion pictures!

--Over at chic Lower Chelsea eatery Lotus -- so close to the Breakup Girl headquarters that BG's cape hits the side of the building as she flies by! -- newly eligible Harrison Ford was trying out life as a bachelor until he quite suddenly left. What could have possibly been the reason? Was it the stray party paparazzo that surprised him by taking his picture, or was it the late arrival of another legendary star, Robert DeNiro?

--Back over in Chelsea outside of Le Zie, a star of a lesser stature (in every way!) "Princess Bride" star Wallace Shawn was spotted leaving a theater where he was presumably cooking up something good and entering a cab, cutting up the cabbie with his ribald wit before even so much as getting in!

And finally, a magazine editor of a major national sports magazine gave me some interesting scoop on "Malcolm In The Middle" dad Bryan Cranston. She called up Cranston's publicist to arrange an interview with the comedy star, and a few hours later, received a shocking reply on her voice mail. "Hi, this is Sam, you don't remember me, we had an affair a couple years ago, very hot...." As she racked her brain for the identity of this Sam -- secretly kicking herself for being so promiscuous in the 1990s -- the caller revealed himself to be Bryan, playing a naughty gag. Before the week was over, Bryan had called her three times, each time leaving a different message under a different name. You may call it creepy, but to me it proves he's not afraid to lighten up. Give that man on Emmy!

Celebrity Quote Of The Week

"I don't own anything. For the last five years it's been a couple of duffel bags and, really, that's it."

-- "Homeless" Matt Damon, in this month's Talk Magazine, describing his nomad-like existence. He goes on to say he's sleeping on Benny Affleck's couch while his new New York digs are getting created, and that he doesn't own a bed anywhere. I wonder if he keeps his Oscar in that duffel bag of his. If he didn't look so utterly tangy in the accompanying photo spread, I think I would wish actual homelessness -- you know, the sleep-in-cardboard-box, face-death-and-loneliness, and fail-to-use-proper-exfoliants kind -- on this glorified frat boy.

Until Matt Damon sings a cappella for change,

Gregoire

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