Hatch-et Job

And speaking of repellent men.... As much as we love to idolize and revere our beloved celebrities, occasionally it's uniquely satisfying to see one crumble and fall. Especially when they're faux celebrities like "Survivor" star Richard Hatch. (God, I barely even remember what "Survivor" even was anymore.) Bleeding the stone that is his nonexistent fame, Dickie has been making rounds on the Broadway circuit, popping over to see the opening of the musical version of "The Full Monty," a state of undress he's much familiar with! During intermission, he successfully annoyed Regis Philbin by running over and saying "Hi!" and then chatted it up with a NY1 entertainment reporter in an effort to drum up interest in a career that is fading faster than a red sweater. After horrifying the stunned reporter with a detailed story of his recent liposuction, Rich went back to his seat ... by climbing onto the stage! Hatch was also seen a couple weeks earlier at the "Sing-A-Long Sound Of Music," an interactive viewing of the classic film. He was even photographed at the event! Hatch claims that he never went to the "Sing-A-Long " and speculates that he may have a doppelganger running around town, cashing in on his success. Just what we need: two Richard Hatches!! Somebody get me to a deserted island now! This is too much!

Celebrity Quotes Of The Week

This week's theme: the 1980s

"It's very strange to see the style I wore in the '80s being worn by incredibly glamorous women on the runway. When I look back at the way I dressed, I think I looked part vagabond and part ragamuffin. I've spent the past ten years being slightly embarrassed by it, so it's confusing to see it being celebrated. I was poor and my clothes cost nothing."
-- former "ragamuffin" Madonna, reviewing some of her fashion decisions from the old days

"I really didn't enjoy the show that much. But I had the hots for Meredith Baxter Birney."
-- nostalgic sort Matthew Perry, giving his opinion of the television show "Family Ties." Funny, I would have pegged Matthew to be more of a Tina Yothers guy.

SEEN!

-- From the looks of the World Series' ratings, it appears nobody really cared who won save a few famous urbanites: after watching the Yankee's triumph at Shea Stadium, the trio of Matt Damon, Jason Patric and Fisher Stevens -- Fisher Stevens?! -- ran uptown to the renowned eatery Elaine's to celebrate. Also in the restaurant having dinner: Anne Bancroft and Mel Brooks.

-- I don't want to get my ear bitten off, so I'll just say very gently that Mike Tyson was out with his sister Denise the other night at Spa, and, well, the family resemblance is rather striking. Remove the swelling from his face and slap a wig on him, and he'd look like her twin. He was partying with MTV gal Ananda Lewis (who looked visibly relieved that she was not within 50 feet of a boy band, as she usually is).

And a couple sightings from some loving readers ...

"Gregoire, I was in L.A. on business this summer and came inches from being run over. A coworker managed to pull me back onto the curb in the nick of time as a smart black Lexus SUV thingy came screeching to a stop. I would have been more angry, but I looked up to see Ben Affleck smiling at me sheepishly from the passenger seat. He managed to mouth 'sorry,' but by then I had already melted -- not because of his good looks (although I must confess, he is better looking in real life, though his head looked absolutely huge in relation to his body) -- but because of the [non-famous] guy in the driver's seat. Ben should know better than to hang around with someone who's THAT much prettier than he. (That's why he and Matt work so well together). " -- Wally in TO

Yours is the 400th story I've heard this year of famous people and near collisions. (Please look back at some old Glam Quests from this summer for more examples.) We will have to disagree as to which part of the Matt-and-Ben conglomerate is prettier than the other. Frankly, Ben's looking a big haggard these days. Did you see the cover of Talk Magazine this month? Ben with blond highlights?! He looks like a very misguided Midwestern hairdresser!

"Gregoire, I was backstage at Madison Square Garden last night for the Andrew Dice Clay show. Anyway, I was prepared for him to be the giant weenie that he is on stage, but he was really nice. At one point, he and one of his sons peeked out though the curtain as the guy on stage yelled, "ARE YOU ALL READY FOR ANDREW DICE CLAY?" and the audience roared. Father and son heard that, and then looked at each other with this face like, "Who knew?" It was really cute. Also: Colin Quinn is very nice. This is not very juicy gossip, is it?" -- Amy

Oh darling, I'm not going to ask why you were backstage at an Andrew Dice Clay show, but I suggest you seek therapy.

Until Courtney Love and Vincent Gallo work together (oh, won't that be fun!),

Gregoire

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