SEINFELD ENGAGED. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

AMERICA RECYCLES DAY. Minimize waste by returning ex's stuff so s/he may reuse them to clutter up someone else's house.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE NUMBER 30. Sesame Street turned BG's age this past Wednesday! Thanks to that show, I can count that high.

THE MILLION-DOLLAR MERMAID. Esther Williams' new tell-all: the true pool read.

LADIES, LADIES, AND GENTLEMEN. In preparation for the 2002 Olympics, the University of Utah's Rice-Eccles Stadium has reportedly been renovated to include two women's restrooms for every men's. Now could the Labor Department start using the same ratio?

GAMES ARE FROM HELL. New from Mattel: "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus: The CD-ROM Game." The word from reviewers: user-passive-aggressive functionality guaranteed to split couples up.

...IS FEAR OF FAT ITSELF. A new study (by Webster Ross, M.D. in the Dept. of Veterans Affairs in Honolulu) finds that moderate levels of "good" fats (such as omega-3 fatty acids) may help the heart pump, the brain hum, and the mood lift. Heck, I'm all aquiver just thinking about a good tuna steak.

THE GREAT AMERICAN SMOKEOUT. November 18. Quit it.

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