GENERATION J. Don't keep Kosher, don't go to temple, don't speak Hebrew ... but still find yourself seeking SJs? Read this book to find your niche in Generation J, "unaffiliated, ambivalent Jews between 20 and 50 who are trying to understand how Judaism fits into their lives" and who have figured out that there's more than one way to worry their parents.

"DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?" According to USA Today, more and more talk shows are offering psychological "aftercare" programs for their guests (to say nothing of their audience). Certainly not a bad idea. Just pray they don't make that into a show.

FULL EXPOSURE. Forget Mars and Venus Make Whoopee and Don't Sweat the Sweaty Stuff: BG's fave rave sexpert Susie Bright is the one who'll guide you toward "...Opening Up To Your Sexual Creativity & Erotic Expression."

ALTAR EGO. British jump-out-the-window bride Rebecca Steele does her best to keep up with the Bridget Joneses.

SOMETHING TO DECLARE. Call it YO!2K: Julia Alvarez is back with a series of essays that draw you with her from the Dominican Republic to her calling as a writer in America: "I am still that young teenager sitting in front of the black and white TV in my parents' bedroom, knowing in my bones I will never be the beauty queen. There she is, Miss America, but even in my up-to-date, enlightened dreams, she never wears my face."

WALKING DOWN AISLE 3. Two Wasilla, AK Wal-Mart employees were recently married in the menswear department of the store where they met and fell in love. Probably because Wal-Mart plowed over the church to build the store.

APARTMENT SIZE MATTERS. A recent University of Michigan study -- focusing not on how many hours of TV people watch, but on how into it they are -- found that "females who are more active viewers identify with the characters and attribute greater realism to the portrayals are more likely to see sex as a goal and a game, unlike a relationship." Dr. L. Monique Ward, an author of the study and assistant psych professor at Michigan, also said that TV "creates a heightened sexual atmosphere and an impression that that's how things are in the real world." When "Friends" fans move to NYC, for example, they assume that the bed and the refrigerator are in separate rooms.

IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO HOUSE AN INTERN. Speaking of which, Miss Thong has reportedly rented a sweet pad in New York's Greenwich Village. Now do you people understand what it takes to get a decent place here?

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