THE BUST GUIDE TO THE NEW GIRL ORDER. Forget "you've come a long way, baby" and empowerment through stalker-dodging movies/international coffees. This is the real girl deal.

VINNY'S TAMPON CASE. Girls: Pack your 'pax in this dope tote. Boys think it's hilarious, by the by, so you don't have to skulk if you shack when "Vinny's in town."

THE ACTIVITY FORMERLY KNOWN AS SLEEP. Where was BG from 3 to 5:30 AM on Tuesday morning? This time, she'll tell you. With her pal Andy watching he-who-will-always-be-known-as-Prince -- from ten feet away! -- at a last-minute late-night jam (<- may require quick free registration) with members of Sly and the Family Stone, Doug E. Fresh, and Kool Moe Dee. I can die now. Except for the fact that I need to tell my grandchildren.

THE BAD GIRL'S GUIDE TO THE OPEN ROAD. Someone just give you a copy of The Rules? Drive, she said -- "she" being Cameron Tuttle, whose pink-rubber pocket/glove-compartment-sized book contains everything you need to know about low-budget, high-adventure, safe road travel ... where you can have beef jerky for breakfast and use it to soften cuticles. A great read even if you don't intend to leave the stationary comfort of your beanbag chair. Which could explain why someone gave you The Rules.

WHAT WOULD FRANK DO? Rules, schmules, anyway: The Way You Wear Your Hat: Frank Sinatra and the Lost Art of Livin' is the guide to coolness, swank, cavorting, wooing, and ring-a-ding-dinging.

KLEINFELD'S. Here's one from the Where Are They Now? Files: Wayne M. "Trapper John" Rogers (along with two co-investors) has stepped in to save Kleinfeld's, which, unlike the Studio Apartment of Justice, is Brooklyn's famed bridal emporium.

BAD NOVEL-WRITING CONTEST. Read it and cringe. Just don't get any ideas for letters to my advice column.

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