UFO ENCOUNTER 2000 FESTIVAL. Starts this weekend in Roswell. Maybe you'll find your ex.

PRIORITY. The other day, when I was ordering a Sports Authority gift certificate on, archaically, the phone, the customer service rep asked me if I'd like it "for an Internet store, or a land-based store." Well, if you're nostalgic for "pen-based communication," I think you'll enjoy this sensuous epistolary novel.

NOT ALL ADVICE IS GOOD. Ben Stiller and Janeane Garofalo put the "wise" -- and the "ass" -- in "wiseass" in the audio version of their self-help manual, "Feel This Book." If, like some members of Team BG, you would happily pay an exorbitant amount on eBay to purchase what might or might not be Janeane's empty gimlet glass, check out these excerpts. And get some help. [-- Colin] (Note: a certain member of Team BG happily got paid to create this audio version of her manual.)

BIKINI TOLL. Fifty-four years ago this coming Wednesday, the first two-piecer was worn in public, shaking society from top to bottom. Celebrate by sharing Bridget's bikini stress. (Then get over it. )

"PLUSHIES?!" Rest assured that no matter what you do in the bedroom, there's always something stranger.

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