< PREVIOUS LETTER
 

Shout-Out Dept.

From Mike to Ms. Scarlet:
In response to your question: "If he REALLY likes me, can't he just talk to me/approach me/email me/call me?" Maybe that's WHY he can't contact you: he REALLY likes you, and is deathly afraid of screwing up. Fear of failure/rejection can lead to that business of not being able to make eye contact. Don't let it throw you.

From Moogirl to Love That Boy, Like This One:
I once heard a saying that went "Don't marry a man you can live with -- marry the man you can't live without."

From Becky to Alli:
Just wanted to say I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I am in the process of watching a wonderful nearly three year relationship slip out from under my nose because he doesn't want to leave his parents. I am going to school across the country and his parents have put so much guilt on him he really has no choice but to stay. (Only he doesn't see it that way, he sees wonderful kind loving parents who he couldn't possibly leave because they have done so much for him like pay his rent and car payments, did I mention he's 31?) Anyway, I know how weird it is. Just to tell you you're not alone -- it sucks, but I guess it's life.

A general affirmation from Kim:
About 2 years ago I got out of a very bad relationship. The guy controlled every aspect of my life and I had no self esteem. I am usually a very in control of my life type person, but this guy over the six years we went out wore me down little by little to where I wasn't even there anymore. I finally left him and found the most perfect man in the world. He is sweet, nice, romantic, and he loves me for who I am. He even loves the fact that I am stubborna nd strong willed. He knows my past with the other guy and he respects me for leaving. I just wanted your readers to now that no matter how bad a relationship seems, and how bad you feel about yourself, don't let anyone treat that bad. You deserve better and there is better waiting for you. On a side note, I am getting married to Mr. Wonderful next September. It can happen if you decide to be strong.

From Anders to BG:
I have a comment on your advice to "Stressed & Depressed in Confusion." You may be right that she's doing all these things with all these men because something is missing in her life, heart, and self-esteem, but it's equally possible that she does it because she actually likes it: likes to kiss, make out, and have sex with nice men. Maybe you noticed some sign of loss in her letter that I overlooked. I just wanted to point out that ethical and responsible non-monogamy also is a valid choice. And that it is ok to "fool around" as long as you don't fool anyone.

BG responds: Valid it is. But the "sign of loss" that I noticed was that she wrote to me.

From John to KC et al:
This is for all those NYC dwellers who can't break away because they can't find a new apartment. There is a world outside of Manhattan. I know that transplants have been taught to fear the "other" boroughs (Brooklyn, the Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island) but if you can get past that, there are plenty of large, affordable apartments in the NYC environs.

BG responds: Yeah, baby.

< PREVIOUS LETTER