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Dear Breakup Girl,

OK so there's this boy. We're both 24. I am in a metropolis, he is 1000 miles away from that metropolis. We met in the metropolis about 1.5 years ago when he was visiting some mutual friends here. I ADORE HIM. From the instant we made eye contact waiting in line at the movies and I thought "my WORD who is that angel?" and then realized that we actually were there meeting the same people, through the moments when he looked at my bookshelf and was familiar with nearly everything I'd ever read and had even taken a course with one of my favorite authors, long past the point where we made out in his car for hours and hours and on to when he left to go 1000 miles in the other direction again.

A few months later we met up again in a different metropolis and had a delightful weekend, plus i spent a week with him in the 1000 miles awayness, where i met his fabulous family and hometown friends and the two of us just couldn't stop smiling at each other and saying "you!" We have emails and a few phone calls. He is, without a doubt, my absolute favorite boy human in history. Spending time with him is one big giant gift, getting email from him is a dream, he's affectionate, he's demonstrative, he's brilliant, he's the most physically beautiful thing i've ever laid eyes on... i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say I'm in love with him.

He talks about moving to the metropolis I currently call home, but it seems like he won't actually get around to it until after I have already left this metropolis for the next one, which is planned for next September. The next one is only 2 or so hours away, but still, it looks like we're just not going to live in the same city at the same time for at least several years, if ever. Did I mention I adore him? I thought about sticking it out in this metropolis until he gets here, establishing a real relationship and then moving forward from there, but \ the idea of staying in a city strictly for a boy seems like a bad one.

I haven't been meeting boys that I like or that like me in my metropolis... dating here is bizarre and difficult and no fun. I've managed once or twice but it's never been all that great and most of my love has been imported from nearby metropoli, or from 1000 miles away. Recently, I re-established contact with a boy I made out with one time in high school.. it turns out he lives in the metropolis a mere 45 minutes from here, is still cute, still tall, still intelligent, still shares my pop culture interests but is now grown up and gainfully employed and seems to be interested as well. I like him, I'm very interested in dating him; we're just trying to get our schedules to mesh at this point.

But the Angel Boy from God's Own Special Private Toy Box is visiting next month. For a week. The angel and I have in the past discussed the fact that there will be a time when one of us starts dating someone and our visits won't be able to be as 'feverish,' and we just sort of sighed and resigned ourselves to the fact. But if he visits, and it's not feverish, I'm going to feel like I'm really officially letting go of something unthinkably rare and wonderful. I'm going to look at him and just want to hold him and scream. I'm not ready to let go. I don't even know if letting go is such a great idea considering the depth of my feelings for him. But if I don't let go, then I can't rightly start dating the local-er boy when I know I 'm going to have a fun tryst next month.

Is the practicality of dating a perfectly suitable boy who lives within driving distance more important than an impractical but totally superhuman love feeling?

-- Love That Boy, Like This One

Dear Love/Like,

Yours is one of those letters that makes me call for a return to Brady Dating. You know, where you go on Dates. When you know for sure when you're Going Steady with someone (they've asked, you haven't slept together). Where you're not somehow in over your head before you've actually gone to a movie.

This rant is to remind you that what you [may] have with Suitable Boy is a date, not a wedding date. So go. See what happens (not a cop-out phrase in thise case) with him, and with Angel. You have already fast-forwarded way too far. You and Angel turn to be impossibly mad for each other still, you make a plan, you work it out. If not, someone else may be in the wings. Whatever. Point is, don't let practicality determine what you do -- how dull. Decide what you want...when you have enough data. Then call in practicality to help you make things work.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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