< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >
 

Dear Breakup Girl,

Why does my girlfriend keep getting her hair cut short when I like it long? Will she ever let it grow at least to her shoulders? How can I let her know how important it is for her to have longer hair?

--Vyn

Well Vyn,

How important is it for your girlfriend to have long hair? I mean, if she's Felicity, I guess it's pretty key. But otherwise, you tell me.

See, your questions -- WHY does she keep getting it cut short? WILL she let it grow? -- read like a teaser for the next episode of your letter. In order to answer them, BG would have to be just the sort of hair psychic that perhaps the WB should have retained. So first of all, why don't you -- with some mighty rephrasing -- ask her those questions? You're entitled to say something like, "Pooky, you know I'd love you whether you were GI Jane or Mulletia, and not that you could ever possibly be more off-the-charts adorable than you are now, but your hair is so beautiful already that I just think it would be delightful to have, you know, a few inches more of it! Just for fun, what say you try to grow it longer this time around?" (Or heck, ask her what her fantasy about you is and act the whole thing out on a wig and a prayer.)

But is that all it is, Vyn? 'Cause there's a bit of a detached, urgent "it can't matter to you" quality to your letter that makes it sound even more Vertigo than Zack's. Would you indeed love her, split ends and all, no matter what? Do you get that you can even hate her hair and still love her? Or are you, like Scotty, trying to turn her into someone she's not? Can you not even see the forest for the tresses to begin with? Are you looking for a "reason" for a sputtering spark? Take a quick look at -- inside -- your head before you do anything else. I just want to make sure that you're not as fickle as Felicity fans. And doing more than just watching in the first place.

Love,
Breakup Girl

 
< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >