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SHOUTOUTS:

To Zack from JC (and several others with the same idea):

If it really is just a fulfilling a fantasy thing, have your girlfriend buy a wig and go nuts. No roots, and everybody wins.

To In Hell Again from Andrea:

I really understand what you must be going through. I was the person in high school who was completely rejected by everyone, set the curves, slept in class, wore lots of black, etc. (My graduating class was closer to 200-300.) Anyway, my point is that you should not be so discouraged about being broke and starting your own business. I came from a really poor family and have a real appreciation for things that don't cost money but have a lot of thought. Anyone can spend money and go to the movies, but it takes a really smart and imaginative person to find the right place and plan a great picnic or find the right art gallery to visit. Dates don't have to be expensive. I went home recently and had my car break down, which meant that I had to talk to people I was never close to. I found that many of them didn't hold onto their image of me from high school. The town I am from is much smaller (than yours from the sound of it) so I am sure just by statistics, that there are more people who have forgotten you from high school or who are cool enough to have a second look.

You might want to start by revising what you think is the coolest thing that you did before the year 2000. Figure out what you did that shows what is important to you. Think of your life and how you want to be remembered. Next time someone asks you about the scar, tell them the story and then add that it WASN'T the coolest thing that happened to you. Find something that was like getting the idea for your business or seeing London for the first time. Sure, everyone might remember that moment, but if you discuss things that have affected you more, you not only open yourself up to a great conversation that lets you meet a person, but also you show you are a complete person whose best and most exciting days are not over.

Don't lock yourself into the image you think others have of you. Use that as a starting point to show people that you are more than a 14-year-old and that anyone who is not willing to open their eyes is not really intelligent enough for you to really get along with anyway. Just remember that one of those girls who was rejected and smart has grown up as well and might just be looking for a person with some substance.

To Janey and BG from Snuggle Gal:

First, BG, thanks for your advice. You were SO right about making sure that both parties are on the same page. We kept saying we were on the same page, but we were like kids hiding comics behind our school books (or, more specifically, dirty mags). So we slipped from one buddy type to another. You can imagine how Janey's e-mail sounded mighty familiar. The post-sex confusion was too much for either of us to handle. And it put such a strain on our friendship, which, ultimately, was more important to me than the nooky.

So now if he does spend the night, I have to put him out like the family dog (actually, out to the couch). And then the next day, we can cuddle and have those loopy, interesting morning talks that frankly I value more than the making out that used to precede them. So, to answer my initial question, I guess snuggle buddies do exist, but you have to work at it.

Funny, I'd initially wanted this situation because it would supposedly be easier than a "real" relationship. And Janey, even though my current situation seems to be working (yah, check back in a month, right?), I can understand your warnings, and I don't think I, given the chance, would try this again with another person. And about the gay friend option: never worked for me. We were too busy checking out men together to snuggle. Juvenile but fun.

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