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SHOUTOUTS 2000

To Jessica from Another Dumper:

I had a situation like your Christmas-cards-for-an-ex predicament once, and what I ended up saying (in an e-mail) was:
"Hi Ex-BF. For what it's worth, I miss you terribly. This weekend was mighty hard without you. That doesn't really change anything, but I thought you should know. Love, AD." Gets the point across, doesn't set up false expectations, lets him know you're hurting too. I recently reconnected with my ex and it turns out he was glad to get it. Anyway, I think it's good to send up the me-too smoke signal, just without all the wishing-you-well stuff that might come off the wrong way. Maybe an e-mail instead of a Christmas card? Good luck and take care of yourself...being the dumper is hard, too!

To Alex/BG from JulieBulie:
I am afraid Breakup Girl may have been a bit too gentle with Alex. Even after Lisa has said no repeatedly, Alex wants to know how to start the "perfect relationship" with her. Alex is not too young to understand that there's no such thing as a "perfect relationship," and that NO MEANS NO.
If Lisa changes her mind about Alex, surely she will let him know.

To Snuggle Gal from Janey:
I shout to you like the whole audience shouted to Heather before she entered those Blair Woods, "DON'T GO THERE!"
I have had a few "snuggle buddies" myself, and each and every one of them have devolved into a different type of buddy (You know, the one that starts with the letter "f"...). In fact, last month, I had to end a three-year friendship because the snuggling kept turning into uncomfortable, weird-us-out sex. No matter how platonic we tried to keep it. And this was really, really, REALLY sad, as it was otherwise a terrific relationship that meant a lot to both of us. I think "snuggling buddies" will always wind up struggling buddies, and it's better to just not go there. Potential exceptions: gay men. I have lots of wonderfully affectionate gay friends and there is NO chance of that line ever being crossed! It may be cliche, but it can be very helpful during the long, lonely days between actual snuggle partners.

To BG from Virginia:
You posted a letter that I wrote in April 1999 about guilt I was experiencing with P., the new guy, because of B., (I broke up with him). Your advice was to make a choice, and not wait for an epiphany. Guess what? P. and I are really happy, together. I know that I made an excellent, and fortuitous decision. He loves me, I love him, he loves my dog. He calls us his "family," and it makes me feel so extremely lucky and cozy. No babies on the way, but I don't feel the need as strongly these days. Maybe in a year or so. So, as we move on to the next century and millennium, I wanted to thank you for your thoughtful advice. Best wishes to you.

BG responds: If he loves your dog, then I love him. Thanks for the update.

Happy New Year, everyone!

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