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Dear Breakup Girl,

Snugglopagus: imaginary friend or real deal?

Can girls ever actually have "snuggle" guy friends? By this, I mean a guy that you find attractive but, for whatever reason, aren't dating. They are single, mind you, and for all intents and purposes dateable, but for some reason neither sees anything beyond friendship. Or, specifically, this particular variety of friendship: you can cuddle, do dinner dates, do the massage thing, maybe even share a bed, but you don't have sex. And no alcohol. Well, that's just my stipulation, because a little drink goes a long way to blurring the lines between "friends" and "more than..." Anyway, does that work? I'm thinking of taking a friendship of mine to that level, but I haven't heard one person who didn't either end up dating their snuggler or having it devolve into a casual sex buddy situation. My cynical friends are wary: they caution I'll either sucker myself into thinking there's something more, or he'll get that wrong impression. I don't think that will happen. I'd like to think I'm stronger than that. What's your call, BG? As a concept, do snuggle buddies exist?

--Snuggle Gal

Dear Snuggle Gal,

As a concept? Sure. But snuggle buddies are sighted rarely; sometimes only by Big Bird. Rare because they exist only if they and their buddette start out on the exact same expectations page. Which still doesn't guarantee that they'll stay that way. Which is why most inquiries I receive on said topic are brought to me by the letter, "I ... thought we were just snuggle bunnies, but ... " Investigate if you like, but handle with care: remember that friendships should be brought to you by the number 1. (And also that -- even if everything goes as planned -- you should never, ever call him "snuggle bunny" to his face.)

Love,
Breakup Girl

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