Home Big To Do - BG's Dating Strategies




Big To Do
About Us

Our "Going Out" Guide e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

Party Affiliation:
Bringing the Romance Home
or Hey, So, Want to Get Out of Here and Go Down the Hall?

by Laura Tucker

Do you want to win friends, influence people, and meet the honey of your dreams? Well, you can... without even leaving the house!

Simply open your home and submit your entertaining style to the scrutiny and potential mockery of strangers, and the riches of the universe will unfold unto you.

I'm talking about the benefits that will automatically accrue when you throw a party. You don't even have to get off the couch if you don't want to. What could be better? It's a slam dunk, a home run, like shooting fish in a barrel. At your own party, you're the rock star for the evening. You're surrounded by people who already like you, and you can go up to anyone you want and talk to them with the natural confidence of someone who knows everyone in the room. For one night at least, you're the person responsible for the magic.

(You may also see your two most unlikely friends slinking off into the night together, which can lead to terrific gossip and godchildren, if you're not careful.)

Like everything else, the first one is the hardest. But put yourself in our capable hands, and it's just a matter of time before you become the Noel Coward of your social circle.

What's the occasion?

If your party doesn't have some kind of centralizing theme, it will devolve into the ubiquitous house party and your ashtrays will just get stolen and you will be sad.

Think of an occasion, even if you have to manufacture one. If none of the greeting card holidays are in ascendance, make up your own. Frank Sinatra's birthday (December 12th, for those who are interested) is a good excuse for a party if yours is in June. Celebrate a saint's day. Throw a party for someone else's birthday, you self-centered horror. You'll have an excuse to call and invite all their cute friends.

The point of this exercise is to infuse a little new blood into the corpse of your social life. You say you've invited fifty of your nearest and dearest just so you'll have an excuse to call that one special someone? A time-honored tradition, darling. Just don't put it on the invitation.

Who's invited?

Your friends, presumably. Sherman Billingsley, the founder and owner of New York's infamous speakeasy The Stork Club, advised party-throwers to invite attractive women, and to invite more women than men. This rule holds even now, in these halcyon days of legalized alcohol.

Why? Well, women don't mind meeting and talking to other women, but men just aren't that interested in meeting and talking to each other. There are complex sociological and psychological explanations for this. I don't know what any of them are, I just know that parties where the women outnumber the men are better parties. You'll note that Billingsley specifically suggests attractive women, and frankly, we think a little eye candy of either sex can't hurt.

If you're having a big party, when you invite your friends, make it very clear that they're expected to bring friends, both boys and girls, and in some quantity.

For a more intimate party, the single should be encouraged to bring a small gift (flowers or a bottle; always appreciated), and an attractive and available date that they are not themselves interested in, but think might look good against the backdrop of the host(ess)'s new sheets.

Just A Few Friends

The smaller the group, the more attention you should pay to your guest list. Keep your eye on the social skill level of your invitees, and do not make the amateur mistake of mixing by interesting occupations or any such drivel. You may think that a particular combination of people will lead to much scintillating conversation, but you've got about a 50% chance of people hating each other at first sight for no reason at all. Your party will suck if you use it as a mixer for people's resumes.

In other words, you're allowed one inarticulate novelist and/or boring professional skateboarder for every two incredibly funny butchers or socially gifted tax attorneys. In an ideal world, it would be possible for interesting people to get along swimmingly. In this one, choose conversational flow over a feisty debate.

It is also sensible to avoid internecine interpersonal politics at a small party. A general rule of thumb: people who are no longer sleeping together may be invited only if they are both happily ensconced in new relationships, and have socialized together harmlessly -- in their new couple formations -- before your event. Life is too short to get caught in that particular crossfire.

Mr. Billingsley, in all his wisdom, also had this to say about the art of giving a party: "Don't give a party just to pay off obligations. You're liable to gather together a lot of droops... Hostesses whose social life is on a chop for chop basis give dull parties."

With this we must disagree. Droops are an unfortunate and unavoidable fact of life. If you've committed yourself to an enormous party filled with people you barely know anyway, you should unhesitatingly use it to dispatch every social obligation you've ever incurred.

That guy that you run into every single time you leave your house, but simply do not like enough to hang out with on a one-on-one basis? Give him a ring. Tell him to bring some friends. The more the merrier. You don't actually have to talk to him, and if he shows up late enough, you may never even know he's there. But his adorable roommate will show up loud and clear on your radar, and that's the point, isn't it?

More: Where to Party, Why It Matters,
and What To Do with Fido


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

The 10 worst first-date locations

True Story: I even moved to be near him

3-Day Free Trial Offer

Next To Do
What's This?

Web BG.net

Free Dates
Back to School
Bike Meet
Office Romance
Foreign Affairs
Going Solo
Friendly Skies
Spring Fling
Serial Dining
Mix Tapes 2000
Rock Climbing
Legal Contact
Vintage Love
Opening Lines
Gallery Talk
The Burbs
Grad School
Twin Towers
New Kid
Staying In
San Fran
New Years
Look Back
BAR Tampa
Dawson, NC
Blah Blah
Big Sib
Change of Heart
10 Things...
TalkBoy Pen
Oscar Party
Kurt Elling
Amy's Machine
V-Day TV
Sex on the Web
1st Saturdays
Il Buco
Mary Jane...