L.A. Story
by Sherise Dorf
Yes, Los Angeles gets a bad rap for being a one-industry town where no one
actually works, eats or walks. But if you can get past that, and the fact that
your 21-year-old neighbors wear hot pants and go-go boots, you can enjoy all
that it does have to offer. And whether you’re solo or with significant
other, be advised that none of the following activities require you to show
up with brushed hair or closed-toed shoes.
How to spend a day in L.A.?
1. Caffeinate. Other cities boast coffee bars, sure, but L.A. offers
a variety of places besides Starbuck’s to load up on caffeine or nonfat
chai soy lattes while reading the trades or the latest draft of your –
ahem – spec. In the morning (and pretty much all day long) Farmer's
Market draws would-be actors and writers as well as the working ones, and
it’s a good spot to remember that there do exist Angelenos over the age
of 40.
2. Rid yourself of toxins. Yeah, I know, sweating in the smog doesn’t
sound like the best way to get your exercise. But hey, when in L.A., do as the
locals do. Take a hike up Runyon
Canyon (at the end of Vista Street, past Hollywood Boulevard). If you want
to make friends, bring a dog and be sure to lose track of it. That way, you
can attract a lot of attention and sympathy by screaming your dog’s name
really loudly in everyone’s ears, and if you’re lucky, someone cute
will help you find your pet. If you’ve got any tattoos, you’ll want
to expose them here. As a friend recently noted, "there sure are a lot
of tattoos up here." This is a one-mile hike pretty much straight uphill,
so don’t bring any would-be boyfriends up here unless you’re matched,
uh, cardiovascularly. Look around once you get to the top (before you collapse
on the solitary bench, muttering, "this is so weird, my trainer says I’m
in really good shape") and see views of the Hollywood sign, downtown, and
even Santa Monica. On a clear day, damn it, you can see forever.
3. People watch. But first, congratulate yourself on all you’ve
accomplished so far. No slouch, you! Urth
Caffé is the kind of place where everyone’s dressed like you
in your fabulous workout wear… or otherwise, in much less. While watching
various model-types park their Porsches and SUV’s out front, ask yourself
this: If you’ve got a belly button, why wouldn’t you flaunt it? Most
recent celeb spotted was Tori Spelling sans make-up. The best way to distract
yourself when noting that a famous person is in the vicinity is to plunge enthusiastically
into your mixed-leaf side salad.
4. Work. No deadline? See a movie. (Hey, it’s research for that
next script!) Catch an independent flick at
Laemmle’s Sunset 5 Theatre, and don’t think you’ll be sitting
in the dark alone just because it’s 1:30 in the middle of the afternoon.
Matinees in L.A. are more crowded than late shows (who can stay up past 10?)
because everyone’s looking for ways to kill time on, say, a Wednesday.
Get there early to buy tickets and while you wait for the show to start, you
can hangout at Buzz (coffee again? Stop!), browse the Virgin Megastore, or check out Crunch Fitness
(it’s everywhere!). Keep your eyes open and your teeth flossed: all of
these are good spots for meeting potential dates.
5. Do something for yourself. In the Hollywood Reporter’s 50 Most
Powerful Women in Hollywood issue, we learn that many of these powerhouse chicks
take time to do one thing that’s just for them, and that one thing is…
yoga, believe it or not. If that’s not reason enough to get your ass on
a mat, I don’t know what is. (I’d have guessed a massage at Burke
Williams (8000 Sunset Boulevard) or a nice nap on the sofa with my favorite
pashmina, but that’s just how crazy I am.) Try Yogatime (324 South Beverly
Drive) or Yogaworks (1426 Montana Avenue) and you might be lowering yourself
into the dog position next to Meg Ryan or Heather Graham.
6. Drink. After the rough day you’ve had, treat yourself to a drink.
Hollywood’s Frolic Room draws oldtimer barflies as well as people you actually want to hit
on. If it’s a good strong margarita you’re after, head over to El
Coyote and get in line.
7. Laugh. Monday night at Largo means you stand amidst pretty people and watch stand-up comics who’ve come
to practice new material. When I went, Janeane Garofolo was kvetching about
the bartender she brought home from a dive on Avenue B, confusing the girls
(whoops, I mean young women) next to me who wondered, "Is that in Santa
Monica or Venice or wh-a-a-t?" (New York, you ninnies!)
8. Get your eight hours of sleep. As you can see, you’ll need
it.
Sherise Dorf is a Los Angeles-based writer with just enough time on her
hands to know where to go.
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