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The Mightiest Pen of All

by Betsy Fast

Used to be that if you dug through the pencil box here at the Studio Apartment of Justice, you'd find only the forlorn, chewed implements that have fallen prey to the canines of BG and her right-hand gal -- well, me.

But that's all changed thanks to our new favorite toy, the Tiger Talkboy F/X pen -- a late birthday gift from BG's pals Asher and Scott. Chew on this: in addition to functioning as a ball-point pen, the ferocious Tiger also has six button-triggered sound effects, including wolf-howling -- reminds BG of Breakup Dog -- and phone-ringing (my personal favorite: watch BG search frantically for the phone!), PLUS a voice-record and play-back feature (so BG can leave inspirational, ego-boosting messages for me), AND a voice-changer feature that plays back messages at varying speeds (so I can slow "Betsy, what would I do without you?" waaay down to prolong the glory-basking as I slice and dice, file and dial).

And just think of all the "notes to self" you can record on your Talkboy:

In the kitchen: "Pick up another pint of Chunky Monkey on the way back from the gym, gorgeous."

At your desk: "I really needed this extra time to organize my bank statements. I should really thank [insert former main-squeeze's name here]." (Alternative: Write him/her a nasty letter while pen reminds you not to mail it.)

Near your closet: "Since when have you looked so good in everything you own? You are on fire these days!"

OR: Have a friend record said messages to heighten their third-party ego-boosting quality. The Talkboy offers twelve whole seconds of built-in memory for you/him/her to rave about you.

We love our Talkboy because it's a great pen, sound-effects machine, and best friend all in one. So say goodbye to the days of waiting by the phone. Now, at the touch of a button -- and while penning your memoirs -- you can hear that ring whenever you want. Write on!

Betsy Fast took the pen home for "research." She better bring it back.

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