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Dear Breakup Girl,

I met and dated my soulmate for nearly six years. The romance was rocky enough for Hollywood and entertained family and friends until the finale. At one point, I took a job across the country to see if he would ever get to the point and commit (plus, it was a great career move, but mostly for the commitment reason).

Anyway, I didn't tell him until two mornings before I was supposed to board a plane, and all my belongings had been shipped; I didn't trust myself not to be talked out of it. We cried, he took me by the hand...and we went engagement ring shopping. We bought a beautiful ring, I called up the company and canceled the offer, took my old job back, retrieved my stuff, and a month later...he uncommitted himself! He said he wanted to test drive living together first. I said the deal was off and moved to another town.

So, I cut off all communication with him. It was tough, but I survived one crying fit at a time and even managed to get a better job that introduced me to Mr. Nice. Three years after the breakup, I married Mr. Nice and we moved across the country to start a new life. Maybe you're thinking, good for you -- so did my family and friends. Now five years are between my soulmate and I. Mr. Nice is a good man and I love him dearly. He is my best friend, but...

I recently got a call from a friend saying my soulmate was looking for me. She said he had moved to the places he thought I might have gone, searching for me, and he had been begging my friends and family for contact information. I still love him, and I know it is only a matter of time before he finds me.

It's a mess! I thought I put enough time between us to get over him, though I realize now that isn't the case. What will I do? I really have no idea. The "good me" will stay married and follow through, but the "waffle me" will struggle the fact that I may still want to be in someone else's arms. I need help quick!

-- Waffler

Dear Waffler,

There's "waffle" (v), and there's "waffle" (n). There's "waffle" as in "waver," and there's "waffle" as in "House." The former, we know; the latter, we love. Why? Well, because of the jukebox, but also because wherever you go, Waffle House is always the same. Waffle House is the opposite of "waffle." It's consistent. You can go here, you can go there, and good ol' WH will always be the same.

I -- along with our own Belleruth -- would actually argue that you and your deal are actually more like Waffle, as in House.

First of all, let me pour a few drops of perspective by noting that of course hearing that Soulmate was on the search would give you pause, no matter what. Come on: you were together for six years, dramatically so; you didn't end things because the passion petered out. Of course there are still lingering buttery aromas of "What if...?" All of this, like WH, is entirely predictable. It doesn't Mean you have to Do anything.

Especially because my -- and Belleruth's -- hunch is that this guy, too, will offer more of the same, wherever you go (as Belleruth puts it plainly, "you ditch your life for him, then he bails."). Of course we believe in rehabilitation and stripe-changing. But what indication do you have that things would be different, that this time he'd mean it?

Still, predictions about him are feckless and beside the point; we want you to be content. At the moment, though, you're just...consistent. Still and always, seeking drama. Marrying Mr. Nice is practically a setup for a messup. As Belleruth gently wonders: "Is it that you're bored with yourself and are looking for excitement / trouble -- especially seeing as it's come looking for you -- to interrupt that?" Could be. So you could spend your life wondering about and longing for what (whatever it is) you don't have, or you could try to find a way to keep things both interesting and fulfilling long-term, right now. Which may mean: ignoring Soulmate (politely) if he shows (see, now that would be dramatic!). Seeking new spark with Husband (or thinking about leaving, if he'll truly never be more to you than Nice Guy / Plan B). Something. Listen to this while you ponder, and let us know what happens?

Love,
Breakup Girl

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Identical twins, identical love interest!