< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >
 

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am the mother of identical twin boys. They are seniors in high school, and one brother is becoming close friends with his twin's ex-girlfriend. He was having problems dealing with her dating his friends when they first broke up, but now he is facing the possibility that his twin and his ex's close friendship may develop into a romance.

He has started avoiding the friends he and she shared when they broke up, and now he's staying in his room as she gets close to his twin. He doesn't want to date her again, but this difficult situation is making him miserable. Any advice on what I can say to him to help him cope?

-- Louise

Dear Louise,

Ooh! Twin twin letters!

It's one thing if a friend makes a non-frivolous move toward a friend's ex after due detox time has passed and due "permission" has been granted. But, as our own Belleruth says, "Choices for dating second, family loyalty first." So it's another thing if the friends are brothers, and ANOTHERanother if they're twins; this raises issues of competition and other fishiness that only-child superhero BG can't even begin to fathom.

But maybe mom can start. So you could hint at why twin #2's pursuit could cause double trouble, and you could look around the house/past and see if there aren't other copycat issues padding around; explore those together (or if you deem it wise, family counseling?). Oh, and while you're at it, you could also -- though who knows how far you'll get with this -- gently question this gal's... compassion and judgment. (But not her taste in looks, of course.)

Love,
Breakup Girl

NEXT LETTER:
"My arch enemy could be her roommate!"