< PREVIOUS LETTER
 

SHOUTOUTS

For Neurotically Ever After from girlE:

I totally agree with BG that the most exciting part of a relationship is the giddy beginning, when you are still pinching yourself, wondering when you'll wake up. Here's an extra word or two of advice, for those times when you're afraid of saying the wrong thing (I know how it feels to be afraid that the most wonderful thing to ever happen to you will go up in smoke): Remember that what brought the two of you close to each other was the friendship that grew between you after you moved apart. Though you both may have had crushes on each other before you got to know each other, I think that you really began to love each other in the process of becoming friends. Remember how easy it was to talk to him as a friend? Maybe it would be easy to talk to him again if you talked to him as a friend, instead of your supercool new boyfriend. Just a suggestion. I'm happy for you...have fun!

For BG from Chris the Lonely Bratwurst:

If I could play an instant replay video of me reading your recent advice column, it would involve my jaw falling open, my thinking capacity falling to pieces, and my chair (with me in it) falling backwards. As Dave Barry would say, "I am not making this up." Ladies and Gents, Chris is being pursued. LOL... I'm flattered. I really am. M, what's your e-mail?

Now that I'm able to think, lemme bring you up to speed on my little soap opera bubble. First of all, I moved out. Independence is mine, and all it costs is a bit of rent, living with another guy that can't stop saying, "You need to get laid, duuuuude....", and having to drive a bit farther to get to work.

I now live in a college town, meaning much more people my age. Much more drunk people, to be precise. I don't drink, so it's been a learning experience. I've learned how to say 'no' 20 different ways. I have yet to meet anyone in my new town that I'd even be remotely interested in. Sigh. Patience, Grasshopper...

My friends (different friends than the creators of the Bratwurst moniker) have suddenly become proactive. I'm supposedly being set up with a girl that I met once and someone noticed that I thought she was interesting. So, let us pray that she thought I was interesting too....For being at this level of desperation, I'm sure playing it cool. The walking paradox, that's me. Heh, heh. At least I'm not still like my pre-Breakup Girl self, where I wouldn't have talked to the cool girl in the first place. (Yes, friends, he can be taught!) So, in some ways, things are getting better.

Technically, however, nothing has changed. It will though, I know. Here's to trying to enjoy being single while I still am! Hey, what have I got to lose? (The GATEOTB would be proud!)

For New Kid from Kathy:

Hey NK, when I started my latest job (six years ago) I felt just like you. And to be honest, I felt that way for a really long time. You just have to give it time, be yourself, and eventually you will "grow" on people.

It was a similar situation, a really chummy workplace if you had been working there awhile. I didn't have any work friends for a really long time, but after a year or so it started happening gradually as I started buddying up with various people. Even those relationships have changed so that I am in different "circles" now than I was at first. At the risk of sounding boastful, I am wildly popular now. I compare it to being in the "popular clique" in high school, if there is a counterpart in the workplace.

I am in a group of women who are always going to happy hour, having pool parties, and various other fun activities including a yearly trip to an exotic locale like Cancun. I couldn't be happier with the "friends" part of my social life. I know it will happen for you too, NK. Just casually join in on the "water cooler" conversations, if a group is going out to lunch ask if you can come along crack a joke every once in a while; just let your personality come through. Good luck!