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Dear Breakup Girl,

What exactly makes a best friend (girl) different from a girlfriend? I mean, I love them both the same; both have supported me when I needed help; both have been a very important part of my life. But now my best friend has told me stuff that my girlfriend would usually say. ("I love you; I want to be with you; I would do so much for you," etc.) And now I am all confused. I love them both, so I don't want to hurt either of them. But if I choose one, the other will get hurt and vice versa. Help me make a decision. What makes a best friend and a girlfriend different?

--Mikey from Alaska

Dear Mikey,

Alaska, huh? This may actually be a ratio problem.

No, really. The difference? Like vs. LIKElike. Feelings vs. FEELINGSfeelings. Love vs. crave. One's a perfect 10; the other goes up to 11.

I know it's confusing, though, because often your girl/boyfriend is your best friend, too. Or even started that way. So what to do? Try and separate the thought of hurting someone from the thought of being with (BEINGWITHbeingwith) soneone. And the thought of LIKINGliking someone long term from that out-of-the-blue "Oh! My! I never thought of us that way! Wow! Hi!" tingle. And most important, think: is there a reason why, indeed -- thus far -- your girlfriend is your girlfriend and your best friend is your best friend? I really, really hope that helps. And that someday, Jay Ramras will have your problem.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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