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Dear Breakup Girl,

I finally got my crush! I've liked him (we'll call him Chandler) for three years, and I'm so happy! We decided we'd go out secretly like Chandler and Monica on Friends. I thought it was a cute idea (I thought of it!), and he liked it, too. Everything was going well for a few hours when my best friend (Anna) called. She said I should go out with another guy (we'll call him Steve), who's liked me for a long time. I said I wouldn't go out with him, and she said, "It's not like Chandler's gonna go out with you!" Then I blurted out, "He is! But you can't tell anyone! It's supposed to be like on the show 'Friends!'" Then she started yelling at me saying this was the stupidest thing I've ever done, that my heart was going to get broken, and that Chandler was a player. I said that Steve and I would eventually break up, too, so what's wrong with going out with the guy I want to go out with? She got sooooooooo mad. It's horrible! Chandler said he didn't care if she was the only one who knows, but I'm scared she'll tell all my other friends, and they'll get mad because I didn't tell them or because they want me to go out with Steve. I DON'T LIKE STEVE! I LIKE CHANDLER! BUT I DON'T WANT MY FRIENDS TO BE MAD AT ME! Should I dump Steve or dump my controlling friend?

--Monica

PS: This isn't the only time Anna has been controlling. A few months ago, she wouldn't let me be friends with another girl, and lately she's been calling me a slut because I talk to guys. I only talk to them! I'm not gonna do anything! They don't like me! I don't like them, but still she calls me slut and ditz (yeah, even though I get A's).

PPS: Chandler has a player rep, but he likes me, and if we break up, I don't care because we would eventually anyway. I'm not gonna marry the guy.

Dear Monica,

Friends -- the real ones, with houses under a billion square feet and weights over 90 -- should always be the most important, regularly-watched element of your social life. But unless you are David Weinlick, your friends really don't choose your more-than-friends. And unless you're on the show "Popular," you don't really hang out with people who try to. (At least not the one who's calling you bad names and trying to keep you away from the boys she likes.) So of course you should go out with the guy you want to go out with. I'm just rooting for you to get it out in the open this season, surrounded by friends who turn out not to mind at all.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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