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Dear Breakup Girl,
I met a very cute girl in my singing class. It was easy enough to find out
who she was (her name is Bonnie) because it turns out she was friends with
somebody
who attends the same church I do. So I did what I normally do when I see a girl
I like: I sat down next to her and threw myself into "class clown" mode. I
mean,
I really showed no mercy in pulling witty remarks out of my stockroom. Bonnie
laughed at EVERY ONE OF THEM. (Except two jokes that she didn't get because
she hadn't seen the movie they referred to.) Her responding to ALL my comic
material positively threw me slightly off-balance. Usually some of the things
I say either end up scaring or offending most people because they don't realize
I'm joking.
The only thing that threw me more was what happened next ... she asked me to
sing a duet with her for the class final. I said, "Yes," but only after picking
my jaw back up off the floor. Since then we've become good friends, and I
really
want to ask her out. One catch: I found out two weeks ago that she's 15 years
old. (My friends and I thought she was 18.) My 21st birthday is right around
the corner. This has thrown my intelligence in direct conflict with my
emotions,
and it's starting to become a form of internal torture. My always-analytic,
ever-brilliant mind is telling me I should just stay friends with Bonnie and
forget about any romantic chances because she's so young. Meanwhile, my more
compassionate half has been screaming that Bonnie and I might be meant to be
together. I know you talked about how "done" a person is in a previous advice
column, and she seems very "done." She's able to have conversations with the
other college students on campus on the same maturity level (more often on a
HIGHER maturity level, but that says more about my campus).
So what should I do, BG? Confess to Bonnie I'm falling for her? Or just
listen
to my own mind and keep things on a "friend"ly level?
--Head vs. Heart
Dear Head vs. Heart,
I can't believe she didn't get your
"Fight
Club" material.
Oooh, that might be because she wouldn't have been
admitted
without parent or guardian. See, sweetie, I gotta say: go with the
ever-brilliant
part of your brain. I do totally believe that she makes the heart part sing.
I don't get a particularly creepy vibe here, even. And I do appreciate your
understanding of the beyond-a-number "done"
factor.
But the "head" is also the part that handles
math, right? The five or six years that separate you two are muuuuuch longer
than they would be if one of you didn't have a "1" in the tens place.
I'm terribly sorry, but they just are. The older we
get, the more those gaps narrow.
Perhaps your interest in her does, in part, say
something
about your campus (or at least about how you feel about the pickins there.)
Anywhere else you can look for the smart and cute folks? I want your
next serenade to come from your heart and your head.
Love,
Breakup Girl
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