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Predicament of the Week
In which Breakup Girl addresses the situation that has, this week, brought her the most (a) amusement, (b) relief that it is happening to someone else, and/or (c) proof that she could not possibly be making this stuff up.

Dear Breakup Girl,

I've been on the Internet since 1995/96. Particularly a lot at Star Wars sites, as I'm a longtime Star Wars fan. I tend to spend a lot of time talking to other fans on the Internet. I became quite chummy with one group. So one day, we decided to have a get-together, and we enjoyed ourselves immensely. I must admit I fell in love with our host. I'd liked him quite a lot for a while -- now, more than ever. He's highly intelligent; he's got a fantastic sense of humor, he's responsible and mature, and he's very much a family person (not to mention that we share certain interests and tastes). Add to that that I think he looks good. (He even smells good.) Not to mention his voice. It makes me melt totally. Well, with all this, why don't I jump at it straight away?

For one thing, he lives in the US, and I live in Norway. There's a nine-time zone difference. Second, there's the age difference thing. He's 28; I'm 20. Being 28, he's got a lot of experience in many matters. For example, he's got a job, while I'm still in the university. He was married once and is now divorced (and has a five year old son from that marriage), while I've never even had a date. I can't help feel a little intimidated.

Also, as a Wiccan, I'm wondering about the implications of getting involved with an atheist who once studied to become a preacher. That could be hairy. (Not that he's ever said anything about religion. He's a terribly accepting person, not easily shocked at all.) Also, he's a good friend of mine, and I don't want to screw that up too much. He means too much to me for that. But I can't get him out of my head. I think of him constantly. Also, it brightens up my day every time I see a message from him on the message boards. So, do I tell him what I feel for him or what?

--Confused and Lost

Dear Confused and Lost,

About Wicca per se, I can't really speak from authority, but that might be the least of your concerns. Though he might not believe in a personified God/dess, I'm guessing -- seriously -- that you two can at least agree that some sort of force is with us.

Still, alas, even that might not be strong enough to bridge the gap -- in any Actual Relationship way -- between two places that, frankly, might as well be Tatooine and Naboo. Size matters not, C & L, but distance does. Not that the LDR thing can never happen; don't want to be an auto-naysayer. But in your case it's just that I would like you to -- when the planets align -- date someone you can actually, you know, date. Someone you can see and smell and hear without funny newfangled technology.

I know that this guy puts you over the moon, but I'm not convinced that you need to shift into hyperspace. Could you see your way to digging the fizzy friendship, to basking in the the bright blip of his new messages? Feel that force around you. After all, luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. Enjoy him on that plane.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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