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October 25, 1999   CONTINUED e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

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Dear Breakup Girl,

My crush's birthday is coming up, and I want to get him something; I need advice on what's appropriate. I met this guy when we were on vacation in the same state; we spent a week together talking and flirting (but nothing ever happened). We slept next to each other several nights, and it seemed to me there was some pretty obvious tension/mutual crushness going on, but I couldn't say for sure that the feelings were mutual. By the time stuff started getting more obvious (in my head, at the very least), I had to go back home.

He lives about 15 hours away from me. He's called once and written a couple of e-mails. When he called, we had a great, long conversation, but there was no talk of anything romantic. He says he's going to come visit me sometime, as soon as possible. And he told me his birthday (eighteenth) is coming up. So my question is this: Do I send him just a handmade card (my mom's suggestion), some random toys (like I usually get for platonic guy friends), or something nicer (I saw some pants at Hot Topic that he would love)? Money's not an issue, but sending too many signals is. I guess I want to hint at something more but not overdo it by any means. What do you think?

--Birthday Fairy


Dear Birthday Fairy,

The random toys for platonic friends say "random" and "platonic;" the pants are a little too Wanna Dress You Up in My Love. So go with the card. (You can say it was BG's idea, not your mom's.) Mainly because -- especially because you're not sure where you stand with this God's gift -- it's certainly sweet, but as presents go, it's not too commanding. As long as you don't, like, weave it with threads harvested from your own silkworm colony, or spend, like, 15 hours on it or anything. "Fifteen hours!? That's forever!" Right. So send a few signals at home, too, okay?

Love,
Breakup Girl

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