< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >
 

Dear Breakup Girl,

I've just finished college and am hoping to start med school within a year. But I have yet to have any sort of experience with the opposite sex. No kissing, no making out, no dates. I tried to approach a few girls in college with no luck. In a couple of instances, I guess I was just too chicken, and in a few others, I said all the wrong things and snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

Looking back on it, four years is a long time. Something should have happened, even with my busy schedule. I guess it all goes back to my parents' death grip on my social life in high school. ("Don't leave the house except to go to school.") Also, I went to an elite private school. I just wasn't that socially sophisticated.

Anyhow, it seems that now I get a lot more attention, but I have a feeling it's because of my career prospects or my parents' prestigious professions. The guys I know say I'm stupid for worrying about this and that "this is the way girls are," that is, concerned about social status. But really, I almost feel guilty about some girl liking me for these reasons. Shouldn't I be with somebody who thinks I'm somewhat attractive and a good human being? How do I find this person? I don't want to lie or even evade questions about my career; it scares away good people.

I have to admit that deep within me, I'm afraid I am not attractive. It leads to my shyness and social walls.

--Max

Dear Max,

Yes, you are. Yes, it does. I'm not even sure I get this big red herring about your career prospects and prestige. Sure, there's that thing about girls going for doctors, but, um, they also go for fishermen and criminals. Point being: couldn't it be that they do think you're attractive and good -- and you're the one casting about for reasons to dissuade all involved? I know it's all unfamiliar, and the more time that passes, the more "significant" this whole thing gets. But try to enjoy the attention, Max. Believe it; bask in it. Give it time; decide which girl you like. Betcha you'll learn in med school how to wire open those jaws.

Love,
Breakup Girl

< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >