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Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend of a year and 7 months dumped me two weeks ago. What I don't understand is that we had the perfect relationship. We never fought or anything. He was the sweetest, most caring, and loving man I've ever met. He always told me how much he loved me and even planned our future. The day before I was to leave on a family vacation he took me to a beautiful park to have a goodbye picnic and carved "JB loves RM" in a tree. He told me how much he would miss me and bought me the sweetest Hallmark card ever.

Well, I returned home the next week excited to see him. When I returned, however, he told me he no longer wanted to be tied down because he didn't want to be with the same person his whole life. I was and still am devastated. Then, two days after he broke up with me, he started dating one of his friends. I confronted him thinking that she must have been the reason that he broke up with me. I am so hurt that he could have gotten over me so fast. Then I learned that he already tells her that he loves her after dating her for only a week! I was so hurt that I told him he didn't know what love was and that he never really loved me. Now, he won't talk to me which hurts even more because he was my best friend.

Do you think he really was hurt by my comment or do you think he really just doesn't care about me anymore? I just don't understand. He still denies that his new girlfriend is the reason why he broke up with me, but he had no other reason to break up with me. Do you think he really just got scared of being with me forever since we're only 18 years old? Or do you think that's BS and that he really just liked his new girlfriend?

--Heartbroken in Ohio

Dear Heartbroken,

Hate to say it, but my sense is that when you left for vaca, the writing was already on the tree. I don't know if he was cheating on you with what's-her-name, but I think he was at least -- to borrow a term first coined in Mademoiselle -- prebounding. The closing ceremonies in the park were, it seems, an "I don't want to bum you out before your vacation" goodbye. But it seems to me that El Ex may have left the building long before.

What happened? Sure, he might have gotten scared; sure, he might have gotten distracted by that greener grass over there. I don't know. But to be fair, I'm not sure he does have any more to say, any clearly satisfying explanation to offer.

Which brings us to: why is he not talking to you now? Because I think he wanted Hallmark to have said it all. The deed's done, I think he thinks; he doesn't want to deal. He has nothing else to say.

So what to do? Well, this will sound like some corny dull-silver lining right now, but hey: not everyone gets a beautiful goodbye picnic in a park called Ignorance-is-Bliss. You had a Relationship Closure Ritual without having to deal with the pain of a breakup at the time! Someday, that will help -- though it cuts like a Swiss Army knife right now, I know I know I know. So for the meantime, detour around the park, and this galling new pair. But I promise: wood weathers. Bark peels. Eventually, you will find a way to carve out a name for yourself.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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