< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >
 

Dear Breakup Girl,

A friend of mine told me that guys get interested in girls right up to the point where you'll (meaning I'll) have sex with them, at which point they lose interest because you've somehow "lost your mystery."

What's a sexually-aware, unskeeved-about-sex kind of girl supposed to do? Is it true that the kinda girl I am (gainfully employed, cute, smart, fun between the sheets) is doomed to loneliness because some guys think that I'm the girl to discharge their sexy urges on but that I'll never be a "nice" girl (read: virginal, uptight, never-been-with-anybody-so-he'd-be-like-Marco-Polo)? Help! Even girls like me get broken hearts. Hell, especially girls like me.

-- Not-So-Mysterious Girl

Dear Sure-You're-Mysterious,

Yep, well, I've heard tell that that whole "lose the mystery" thing is one of those truisms about boys that -- even the nicest ones will mumblingly admit -- sometimes, occasionally, once in a while, has an eensy teensy itty bitty evil kernel within a kernel within a kernel of truth.

And I know, it's galling to feel at once so damn well-adjusted, fun, and normal AND so damn ... alone.

But no no no no, pleeeeeease try not to sweat it, girlie girl. 'Cause I'm not being sarcastic -- the interest/mystery thing is (at least among the folks I recommend that anyone, girl or guy, actually sleep with) -- a minor (overridable, if at all ever present in the first place) factor.

And anyway, if you're dating someone for whom sex kills the mystery, then you're not exactly dating Encyclopedia Brown. So don't go going farther than you meant to just to prove that you're fun. Because I'm telling you, the real smarties out there are trying to deduce your e-mail right now.

Love,
Breakup Girl

< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >