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Dear Breakup Girl,

I hope this question is within your bailiwick, for Miss Manners will not answer the call. A comedian once likened it to a solar eclipse; you know you are not supposed to look but you cannot help it. With the popularity of spaghetti strap tank tops and wife-beaters etc., there seem to be a great deal of women bending over displayingäa great deal. What is a young man to do to remain polite, respectful, etc.? This is a quandary for certain and requires a gentleman to look away (but make it look like he never noticed in the first place and it was for some other reason that he took a step back and turned his head 90 degrees or suddenly found the ceiling so complex and interesting that it required sudden study). This is extremely difficult when you are actually talking to the person. Women rightly complain about men not looking at their eyes, but what about when there are no eyes to look at (because she is bending over)? Do women realize how difficult this summer fashion can be for bystanders? Do women even realize it when you are attempting to avoid seeingämuch? When women return to the vertical and suddenly adjust their blouses, etc. might they be saying: "You were looking down my blouse weren't you, you pervert!?" "Only for a moment," does not seem an honorable response. Please know I am not suggesting that I believe women do this on purpose. There are indeed pencils to pick up, shoes that need tying, and tables that need to be reached over. Nor am I suggesting that other women do not also have to deal with this. Och, Breakup Girl, is it only the icy clouds of winter that will bring an end to this madness?

--Trying To Be Good

Dear Trying,

Hmm, no, it's only the clear-as-the-clear-blue-sky difference between looking and leering. To remain polite and respectful, look at women you find complex and interesting.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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