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Dear Breakup Girl,

I went out with this guy for a little over 3 months, and I broke up with him because I had this feeling in my stomach that became very loud and uncomfortable whenever he was affectionate or whenever he really acted like he liked me. When I dumped him, he got mad at me for various things like not dumping him before school was out so that he could get other girls' phone numbers. He told me he never wanted to see or talk to me again. I thought I was going to feel instantly happy when I was free of him. I mean I am going to college and he's going to be in high school still. I don't want to sound shallow, but he seemed so immature. The only confusing thing is that I miss him, and many things remind me of him. I've had 8 dreams of him in the past week. Should I call him or write to him? Or was breaking up with him the best thing to do and I should just let it go? HELP ME!

--Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth,

No kidding: once at a Breakup High dance, I remember spotting a guy named Bubba (no kidding) bearing a piece of paper headed "Bubba's Girls' Numbers."

(It was blank.)

As far as your Bubba is concerned, well, I promise you it's not weird that you miss him. On the one hand, yes, I'm sure that that Loud Stomach Feeling -- talk about listening to your gut! -- could have been telling you something; sounds like you did what you had to do. On the other: we do not like change, and we miss the people we leave. That is how we -- intestines and all -- are wired.

Also, the fact that he didn't exactly say "Oh, that's all right, I'm really quite sad and I'll miss you terribly, but I understand" is probably stuck in your craw. Which is where your dreams get their material.

Also, you're leaving. He represents home. Again: food for dreams.

So: let it go. Actually, your brain will do this for you soon enough. I promise; you'll have a head full of papers -- and a paper full of numbers -- when you get to college.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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