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Dear Breakup Girl,

A year ago, I moved to a new city. My best friend was living here and dating a guy. One fine summer night, HIS best friend, recently dumped by the LOHL (love of his life), arrived at the patio where we were eating dinner and drinking beer, and as soon as he walked in I thought, "Uh oh. Here is something."

And indeed. We flirted all that night and a couple of days later, I asked him out. We went on a few dates and had sex pretty quickly. The guy was fully an emotional mess, but I was totally besotted and couldn't see straight though he was pulling away and sleeping with other people and unreliable and never on time. It went from bad to worse real fast. My best friend told me on a NUMBER of occasions, "Forget it." I couldn't see it; I wanted him; and I embarrassed myself in front of a whole social circle. Things came to a head in the early spring, and we didn't talk for about a month.

To top things off, he is a serial supermodel dater. (I am one cute girl, but many things other than my height would prevent me from ever becoming Shalom Harlow.)

Anyway. Fast forward. April. We run into each other a few times. We've always had a good rapport, and I'm more relaxed and no longer a lovestruck idiot, and we start spending some time together as friends doing fun stuff. We start to see each other every day. And we start getting really close. We have fun. We go out and do fun stuff and talk all night and giggle and go out for dinner and go to movies and spend literally ALL of our spare time together.

Because I have a previously established propensity for doing so, I am starting to fall for him again. Hard. I communicate this to him somewhat, and he says, "Well, let's just see what happens." I am feeling soooo good. It's like every scorned lover's fantasy: he came back! And better than before! And now I am with him in front of all these people who said it would never happen! And I'm still not a supermodel and I won't be!

It's just this: nagging doubt. He cares about me extremely intensely; I know this. But I just don't think I am the love of his life. I don't think he feels about me the way that I feel about him. But right now, I am happy and having a great time with him. We are learning so much about each other, and he is really opening himself up to me. I know he would do anything for me. He does anything for me.

Where does this go? Should I just run with it and have fun and enjoy it or should I protect myself and run away very fast?

--Not so New

Dear Not So New,

For what it's worth, Breakup Girl Friday saw Shalom the other day, and she didn't look that good. Also, she was not with your boy. So there's that.

Otherwise, with him -- much as it is with most models -- it's more about what he does than what he says. I hear all the time about guys who make "see what happens" speeches all the way to Tiffany's. And people can change, CHANGEchange, not just Linda-Evangelista's-hair change. Like, for real. Like, when they just decide that they're done with the dumb stuff. It happens; it could have happened here. So run with him ... slowly, perhaps with a deadline for yourself. Meantime, your job, I think, is to clarify certain other details, like "sleeping with other people," etc.; your job is to not just float and gloat on the fact that he's back. If you see bad signs, send up a flare to your bad self. 'Cause people come back, but so do fashions. Briefly.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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