< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >
 

Dear Breakup Girl,

First, I'm a 16 year old male, totally normal, healthy, good grades, etc.. Anyway, I LOVE beautiful, nice girls. I am going into 10th grade next year, and in my freshman year, I made a few nice lady friends. However, something strange caught my eyes in my first year of high school. There was something coming from the pretty girls at school that distracted me. It was their tight jeans that I usually saw them wear. I loved how they looked on them, the style, the looks of the brands, the colors; it was all beautiful. I saw the same beautiful sites at other public places: stores, the mall, etc. I have strong urges to talk to the girls who wear the lovely jeans that I like to look at (maybe possibly wear). I want to talk to them about their jeans, and complement them on how they look. I'm not trying to ask them out; I just want them to know that they wear something that is very special. So, I was wondering if you had anything to tell me to help me talk to girls who wear lovely, sexy jeans. I get tongue-tied when I come near one, and I was wondering what would be the right thing to say. I really don't think that they should be upset or disgusted when I compliment them on their jeans because for them, it is just a compliment, but for me, it is something special.

--Sam

Uh oh, Sergio,

I have respectfully turned you over to our professional expert in the 501 blues, Belleruth:

"I gotta say, this sounds a bit odd. One of my many questions: Why do you have to say anything at all? Why not just enjoy looking? I mean, that's free. Think: what does the 'saying something' part do for you? Is it that you want to be [like] one of the girls? Alarm them in some way? And what's this about wanting to wear them? Cross-dressers abound, but it's key to get in touch with those urges sooner rather than later"

All of that said, Sam-O, we are not trying to tell you you're a freak. We are suggesting, however, that the feeling of being complimented in the manner you describe might not be something they're used to; it might make everyone involved feel weird. So BR and I suggest that, much as one does with one's laundry, you sort out the denims ... by talking about sexuality and gender issues directly with an experienced counselor. Okay, Sam? You'll be fine.

Love,
Breakup Girl

< PREVIOUS LETTER   ||   NEXT LETTER >