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Dear Breakup Girl,

me and my girlfriend have been in a
long term relationship for about 4 years on
and off

much of it has been long distance

I spent a year overseas in asia
and then went onto graduate school

she followed me out to grad school
after she graduated from college and we
have been in a tempestuous but loving
relationship

always on the verge of breaking up
but also always very clear of our feelings
for each other

not sure if in the end we will work out
or not

anyway, I now have a job, and we
will yet again be spending a significant
amount of time apart (one or two years)
as she is going to go to grad school
herself in the next year.

we have both said we don't want to spend
more long distance time,
and she is worried she is getting too old
for this and doesn't want to string something
together for 3 or 4 more years if it's always
going to be this difficult.

we are very much in love and together,
but we being who we are we cannot
seem to make the type of commitment
where one or the other starts making
career choices based on the relationship

I am worried we will break up (again)

worried because I can't imagine being without
her, but also because it might be a big mistake
and on the other hand, I am worried that if I am
not ready to pull the trigger now (ie marriage)
at 26 yrs old, with this person after four years,
will I ever be ready?

is breaking up when you are still in love
ever the right thing to do?

perplexed and worried,

-- pretty boy

dear e.e.,

even free verse has constraints

even "very much in love" doesn't make it easy to be oceans apart

but four of those years were very young ones

so try it (one more time)

love,
breakup girl

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