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Dear Breakup Girl,

As women, we all know that there is a code of conduct between best friends. We are not to date the other's "major relationship" ex-boyfriend. Well, I used to date this guy about 4-5 years ago. We dated for about a year and a half. I took his virginity. Well, I was a bitch! I treated him like crap, until I woke up. I realized that I was treating him like I would never want to be treated. So I straightened up, and then he started treating me like that. He did a total 180. He was a monster. So I cried and did the things best friends do. We cried alot, went out a lot, cursed him a lot. Well, I left him alone and found someone else. I'm married now to a wonderful man. He loves me and wants nothing more than to have a family and love each other forever. He's every woman's dream. Well, my best friend was my maid of honor and was asked to be our children's godmother when we have them.

My husband and I went to a wedding this past weekend and my best friend shows up with my EX as her DATE!!!!!! I almost puked on the pews in the church. Later I got mad and confronted her, she said "you're married!" and that was the end. How could she do that? How could she date the person that (if my husband was to have never come in the picture) probably would've been my husband? I don't have any feelings for this guy. It's just the fact that my "best friend" broke the code of conduct. Will I ever look at her the same?

-- Mya

Dear Mya,

I can totally see why you were upset, but even that code of conduct has a statute of limitations, not to mention a grandfather (or rather, father-of-your-children) clause. Bringing the Ex was extraordinarily tacky, but narrowly/technically legal; her not warning you in the first place was especially grody. Still, I think that when your shock and surprise fade, you'll be able to look at her the same way -- if, that is, you have a reasonable, non-accusing conversation with her about why you were so hurt. Like, sometime before you have kids.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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