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Dear Breakup Girl,

I miss him. My therapist says I'm making good choices, but I miss him. My friends think I'm doing the right thing (even though they like him), but I miss him. My coworkers say "atta girl," but I miss him. Please understand that he isn't abusive or horrible in any way. He's intelligent and funny and he "gets" me. It's just that he can't/won't really DO anything to keep me in this relationship. He's very passive and it makes me nuts. Yes, this is reason enough to stay away from him, but have I told you that I miss him? It's been six weeks since we last talked/e-mailed (although he did send me a little card a couple of weeks ago that really didn't say much of anything). We never do anything but laugh and giggle and enjoy each other's company when we're we're together and he always cries when we have to say good-bye (Ilive in Chicago, he lives in LA). The problem is that I am the one to initiate contact about 90% of the time. If I ask him to call me, he always does. If I write to him, he always writes back promptly. If I say I want to see him, he buys me a plane ticket. It's always me who has to initiate things, though and that's not right, is it? I told him I wanted us to stay out of touch for a while, so the dynamic of this relationship can change. Either he's going to realize that he really misses me or I'm going to get over him. I should have broken up with him, right? I can't do all the relationship maintenance myself, can I? I want to talk to him (although I have no plans to call him) because, I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, I miss him. You're the sharpest tack in the relationship box . . . what's your opinion? Sigh.

--Kelly

Dear Kelly,

Of course of course of course you miss him miss him miss him. But remember, that's a side-effect of a breakup, not a counterpoint. 'Cause I don't want you to miss out on the feeling of having someone miss you.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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