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Dear Breakup Girl,

I'm fifteen and a half and have no experience with the opposite sex. I don't know what they're into, what they like/dislike, or why I seem to repel all of them. All I know is that I constantly feel like a pathetic loser who has no friends and has never had a boyfriend (the sum of my dating experience is two dates with two different guys--no one talked in either).

My question is plain and simple: What do I do? How do I get a guy to like me? How do I keep this guy liking me? How can I flirt? When should I flirt (at all those imaginary parties I pretend I go to or in school)? What are guys attracted to (obviously not slightly overweight, ugly, super-student, and completely unfun ole' me)? Are there any sweet, adorable, funny, smart men who aren't taken left? Please, dear superhero, help me break through this wall of guy-repellent!

-- Sara

Oh, Sara,

Listen, sweetie, as long as you're still including "and a half" in your age, it's not about having "experience" with the opposite sex. And anyway, lots of people who round down their ages by multiples of more than one year have the same questions you do -- even if they've been round the block a few times.

So let's talk instead about how you feel. And actually, let's put it this way: I love letters like yours because they come from people brave enough -- that's right, brave enough -- to ask these questions in the first place. But I hate letters like yours because sometimes they cause me to give REALLY DORKY (but entirely sincere) advice. Which is (promise not to hate me?): um, join a club. See, Sara, that's where a lot of your questions will get answered, in practice. Not just your questions about Current Events or Archery or Entomology, but about Boys! and Flirting! What's the Opposite Sex into, Sara? Well, the ones you hang wiith Mondays at 4 are into post-war diplomacy in the Balkans. What kind of girls do they like? The ones with similar interests, like improving one's aim. How do you flirt? Well, could be that when you tackle a common project, flirting's what you'd say anyway ("Ooh! Chitin!"). Clubs (parties, schmarties) are also where you make friends. Which helps give you the confidence to go for -- or be considered -- more-than. There are are are are boys out there who are looking for a girl they can talk to (not a euphemism for "ugly"). Try try try to shed some of that exoskeleton, do what you love or try a new thing -- even if alone at first -- and sure enough, boys will be drawn to your light.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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