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Dear Breakup Girl,

One of my close friends has a tricky guy problem; she keeps turning to me for help but I'm not sure what advice to give her. See, she's 15 and has been dating a 17 year-old (Max) for over a year. This is her first really serious relationship. When they started going out she always wanted to be with him but from the beginning she had the upperhand in the relationship. He would buy her tons of presents but is a rather jealous type but keeps his anger inside and mopes. She happens to be an extremely flirty person. (At my sweet 16 back in November, people who didn't know her didn't believe me that she had a boyfriend, even though he was right there, because she was flirting so much.)

So, about two weeks ago she calls me very excited. She and a boy (Jon) who she's known since she was 8 and has had a semi-crush on since she was 9 (so she says) ended up kissing. They go to Hebrew school together and see each other every week. They agreed not to tell anyone but when they saw each other again a few days later they kissed again. And she was elated, this was a guy she thought would never find her attractive and now he wants her but . . . she doesn't think he wants a relationship and she doesn't want to break up with Max really either.

She says she doesn't feel as guilty about Max as she thinks she should and she wants to kiss Jon again. She admits her and Max have reached a kind of stagnant point and she's a little bored. I tell her that she's 15 and doesn't need to always be in a relationship and shouldn't be tied down in a relationship at this stage, she have fun and explore might or might not happen with Jon, but I don't know if I told her the right thing. You see, a lot of my friends trust me as a confidante but I'm know I'm not in a position to give advice about relationships being that I've never have even had a boyfriend myself. What should I tell her?

-- Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your advice to her was just fine, actually. Except you should specific that she shouldn't kiss Jon while (a) in a relationship with Max, or (b) at Hebrew school.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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