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Dear Breakup Girl,

I want to have a baby but I don't have a boyfriend. How do I overcome this problem? I'm only 15! Please help me.

--- Aimee

Dear Aimee,

Whoa. No, young lady, I am not going to help you find a boyfriend for said purpose. Perhaps you feel that (gulp) everyone else has one, that you've got all this love and nowhere to put it, that you're impatient for the future and holding a baby is all you can see that it holds. And let me tell you, Aimee, I think it would be great for you to have something to love -- and that will love you back (at least until it's 15 or so) -- unconditionally. And I think a mom is a great thing to want to be.

But not yet. Sweetie, grownups with partners and two incomes and nannies and all-terrain titanium strollers can barely handle having a baby. I'm not saying you're not capable, just that it's an unbelievable strain even with all those resources. You shouldn't have to worry about all that stuff now. You should have to worry about, like, how Buffy's gonna get Sunnydale out of this one. That's about it. So can you imagine, kiddo, a future with a partner and an income you earn doing something that really lights your fire -- and a life full of learning to offer your child? Just imagine it. And then go find the folks -- a guidance counselor, a Big Sister, another trusted adult -- who can help you make it real, starting today. I promise: that future is more in your grasp right now than is being the great mom I know you'll want to be. Someday.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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