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Dear Breakup Girl,

I am currently in the process of a divorce. I've been with him since I was 14. It is a very amicable breakup. We may actually become friends! Anyway, I'm feeling guilty because I don't feel all that bad. My main feelings are excitement about my new life and freedoms and a little fear revolving around my new financial situation. Granted, I am working on a little rebound action, but we both know it is just something to fill my bed every now and then. I just want to know what you think. Am I deluding myself in thinking I am over him or am I just really well adjusted?

-- Happy to be Free

Dear Happy,

Probably a little of both. On the one hand, "amicable," "don't feel all that bad," "excitement" -- hey, go with it! On the other, well, imagine this way. It's like you've just stepped off the plane after having been transferred to a fantastic exotic new city. You're looking around, thick guidebooks in hand, saying "WOW! Where do I start!!!" And there is a cute porter right there, ready to carry your bulging valises. That is a legitimate Great Feeling. But then. Not that this will ruin your venture, but then: you have to find a place to live, change money, negotiate weird food and the language barrier. Oh, and make friends. Because the porter, at some point, will put down your bags. These are not bad things, they are just reality. So yes, enjoy the freedom feelings, and have the reboundy thing if you wish. Let them give you momentum, ease the transition, pass the time. But make no mistake: there will also be weirdness and badness and madness and sadness. Pack a first-aid kit, too.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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