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Dear Breakup Girl,

I met a wonderful woman thru the personal ads several months ago. Since then she and I have been inseparable. The only problem that occurred was that just before Christmas her doctor said that she was free of cancer. She had been battling it for 5 years. In mid January her doctor said that he had made a mistake and that she had less than a year to live. When she heard this she called me up to break up, saying that she didn't want save me the pain of seeing her ill. I took it rather badly and left the state to visit friends for a week. When I got back she had left 17 voice mails and 15 e-mails wanting to talk and get back together. Which we did, for about 2 weeks. She went to see her doctor again and he told her the same thing. The she told me her thing. I love her greatly and want to be there for her. Her idea is that she loves me too much to put me through any more grief. I disagree with her. How can I love her and want to be there for her if she won't let me in? What kind of a man am I just to walk away from her in her time of greatest need? Any ideas?

-- A Seersucker Suit

Dear Seersucker,

Well, if she'll ever hear you out, perhaps you could suggest that she get a second opinion. From zero cancer to a year to live is a rather hefty margin of goof. Either that or -- here, from Belleruth, is a second opinion -- she knew she was terminal all along, OR she is trying a really lousy method of getting rid of you. "But assuming she's playing straight," says Belleruth,"what you can do is tell her that you'll call her once a week to see if she still wants you to leave her alone. And then you will until the next check-in time. Which, after a few calls, you might actually want to start spreading out." From what it seems, it will take a big strong gal to pull through this one. And it will take a big man to walk away if she asks you to.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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