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Dear Breakup Girl,

I was dating a guy on a casual basis for about four months. It wasn't totally satisfying (emotionally, physically, etc.) but it was all I really had the strength (emotionally, physically, etc.) for. I tried to half-heartedly break it off with him about a month ago but he convinced me otherwise. Of course *he* thought things should go on the way they were. No commitment, no emotional work, sex, great! Don't get me wrong, this was not an I-go-to-his-house-late-at-night-never-do-anything -but-have-sex-thing. We had enough in common and enough chemistry for me to just let it be.

Well, right before Thanksgiving we got into a stupid fight and didn't talk for a about a week and a half (he went out of town). I started missing him and gave in and called him. It was such a lame way to leave things and I wanted to be able to run into him around town with out too many bad feelings. I ended up spending the night and he hasn't called me since! Even though I called him once a couple of days afterwards just to say, "Hi, yada, yada."

I guess I feel at *least* he could be adult enough to return my call, even if it's to say, "It's been fun but..."! It's just so immature. I mean come on, lets at least *pretend* we're adults here (please, everyone out there, just return the freaking call).

Now this is generating all these really frustrated not very mature thoughts in me that I DON'T like at all. Ugh! Why would he be so lame? How can I get back at him? (I know, I know...do you see what I mean?)

Anyway, thanks. I feel better already just thinking you might post this and there will be people who might be prompted to make that call that they really didn't want to just to avoid all the bad karma.

-- Emily

Dear Emily,

Yes. Good manners dictate that he should return your call. And of course you're totally miffed. But. The "Hi" call is sort of like the Birthday card. You make/send it to make/send it, not to get a response. And certainly not to prove how much more adult you are than the call-non-returner. His not calling back does not merit your getting back. If you don't have the strength for a non-casual relationship, you certainly don't have time for that.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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