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Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend, in an apparent attempt to make up for all the on-the-job success I've been having recently, started to criticize everything I did and said. Despite a number of discussions, he didn't stop doing this, and then also withdrew all affection and sex. So I broke up with him.

Here's the problem: we're living together and he doesn't want to leave, at least not for another three months, as he puts it. Both our names are on the lease, though I pay more rent. He's been on his best behavior since we broke up, but I'd still like the place to myself.

What do you think? Should I give him his three months, then boot him? Tell him he's got one month to leave? I don't want to live with a pissed off, hostile person, but I don't want to have my ex for a roommate, either.

-- Won't Move In With Anyone Again Anytime Soon

Dear Won't,

What I can't fathom is WHY he wants to stay. Seems to me that even living with <gasp> parents would be preferable. This thing about exes continuing to live together is one of the weirdest things Breakup Girl has ever heard (and I have heard it more than once). Unless you guys live in Manhattan, in which case all bets, as well as all Breakup Girl rules about standard breakup practice -- not to mention the laws of decency, and physics -- are off.

And what's this about three months? Is that when the lease is up? Is he planning on, like, looking before then? When he gives himself deadlines, does he keep them?

Also, why are you the automatic place-keeper? Cause you pay more rent? Fair enough -- I'm just trying to make sure I have all the facts. You two should, too. 'Cause that way this will stay about the apartment, not about the relationship. See?

So, I guess, if you want to be a Pretty Good Person, tell him he's got a month, but then make the gesture of circling a few listings, sending "anyone need a renter?" email to a few friends, etc. -- maybe even brokering some sort of interim/emergency swap.

But if he won't budge, then what can I say? Except: start packing. Your stuff.

Unless, again: Manhattan, yadda yadda. In which case, I'll talk to Chris/Paul about the futon.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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