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First, still more sugar plums for our Duderino:

From Breakup Girl in response to your "private note:"

Glad to know the Dude is still here. Don't want you to toss the brushes; just want you to add "perspective" to the pallette. Please artify life all you want -- just know that that is what you are doing when you are doing it. Let us know when Karen's sonnet is ready. We all think you rule.

From Taco Belle:

Duderino, I've been reading your saga with great interest and feel that it's time for a shout out. I was moved by your passionate description of your relationship with Golden Girl. I was pleased when I read about JG, glad that you found someone special to fill the hole left by GG. However, your description of Karen does indeed pale in comparison. It made me wonder if your initial attraction was to her passport. You seem to be developing a penchant for relationships with long distance ladies. You became involved with JG, knowing that she would eventually return home to Japan. Does Karen plan to set down permanent roots in Malaysia? Maybe so, but I kind of doubt it. My reasoning: I'm a North American girl involved with a Vietnamese boy. It's a long-term relationship and we're very much in love. Thing is: if he suddenly announced "Honey, I'm moving back to Vietnam. Ya coming?" My reply wouldn't be: "Yes, my darling, I'll follow you anywhere." It would be more like: "Say, what? Um, are there any drive thru Taco Bells in Saigon?" Sounds trivial, I know. But I'm not talking about drive-thru Taco Bells per se. I'm talking about the familiar stuff that makes a place your home. As I'm sure you know, it's a difficult thing to leave your country for good. Otherwise, you might still be in LA and not on your balcony. You must know that both JG and Karen face some difficulties in deciding to stay permanently in Malaysia, even if it is for love of an artistic soul like youself. Is your attraction to foreign women a way for you to take the geographic cure while staying at home? If so, consider the toll it takes on yourself and the ladies when it's time to say bon voyage. In the end, you're still alone on that (in)famous balcony ... Let me just say in closing that Karen sounds like a very nice girl and I really do hope for the best for both of you.

And now, a few more...

From Terry for ATP:

Pertinent (or impertinent) question: What exactly is it about this creepy, overbearing control freak that qualifies him as a "nice guy?" He's pushing hard to separate you from your support system, the job that you love, and isolate you in DC where you'll be dependent on him, socially and economically. He's asking you to make all the sacrifices. And for what? For love? Three months with a guy who insisted on your dating him, who doesn't hear you when you say no, that qualifies as love? I don't think so. Yeah, this guy pursued you heavily, but you can't equate pursuit with love.

I think you'll be much better off putting yourself first ('cos he sure won't), and sending this head case to Dump City. Because if you go down there, his overbearing attitude will get MUCH worse, and you could wind up in a battered women's shelter, running from "Mr. Nice Guy." To break up with him you'll need to overcome your conditioned fear of being rude to men and tell him as plainly and unequivocally as you can, because that's your only hope of making him hear you. Remember, you're not trying to convince him of anything; you're simply stating the reality that it is over.

Then you'll need to be strong, because he WILL continue to pursue you (why wouldn't he? He doesn't believe you when you say NO). Forget about keeping him as a friend. You don't need this guy in your life. You will need to cut off all contact with him. This means don't answer his phone calls, don't see him, don't talk to him, no matter what. It's a lot like training rats in a Skinner box. If he call you 10, 15, 20 times, then you give in and call him back, you have just taught him that the price of a call back is 20 calls -- a price he can and will pay, because he will be winning. His game is to wear you down until you give in. To win, you will need to be more tenacious than he is. You can do it.

BG, maybe I'm reading too much between the lines here, but every description I've ever read of the charming psycho wife-beater started out just like this. ATP, be careful, and look out for yourself."

From CP to Stefani:

This is in response to your advice to Stefani, who was worried about her acne problem. You recommended many of the standard things: retin-A, antibiotics, etc. Let me just say: been there, done that. I no longer endorse Retin-A (it's so harsh on the skin), and antibiotics I was taking for my acne in high school and college probably led to my becoming so ill in college that one doctor thought I had lupus. As for accutane, it can help clear things up for a while, but it can come back with a vengeance, and it's not very good for women anyway.

But the good news is, I finally gave up on all these things and went to see an Esthetician. (See her Acne Treatment website at http://www.acnetreatment.com.) I was pretty doubtful anything could be done at this point, having seen so many dermatologists, but it's worked. It's actually worked. The best part is, there are no pills and no horrible peeling medications. It's all cleansers, masks, and facials. Still not a picnic, but so much better, and best of all, it brings results.

I know this has nothing to do with your normal topic, but I just wanted to write. I've battled this thing for the last 12 years, and this is the only thing that's helped.

P.S. Though I like not having such terrible acne any more, I would like to say to Stefani and everyone else: acne doesn't necessarily have anything to do with getting dates. I had terrible acne in high school and college and I always had plenty of dates. Just the other day, I had a friend say to me, "You had acne in high school? I never noticed."

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