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Dear Breakup Girl,

I am a 13 year old girl with a 14 year old boyfriend. I really do like him but he likes me a lot more. Sometimes I lie to him about how I feel just so that I don't hurt him. I know that I care about him and I do like him, I just wish that we weren't as serious as we have become over ten months. He has plenty of family problems and it feels like he kind of thinks of me as his mom, because he always comes to me for comfort and stuff that I go to my mom for.

Plus, me being with him is tearing apart me and my mom's relationship. I feel like he is my life and he does mean the world to me, but there are so many downs in our relationship I kind of feel like I'm just trying to prove that I can be with him. I don't know what I'm asking, just help me.

-- Amanda

Dear Amanda,

If you're asking for permission to break up with him, you've got it. I'm sure Breakup Mom would give it to you, too. I know you're probably terribly concerned about hurting him and making his problems worse, but in the big picture, lying to him and putting on a game face is equally hurtful.

I also happen to know why your mom isn't wild about him. (Not because I'm momnisicent, but because you wrote to me and gave me the deetz before.) I know he's got family problems, and that he comes to you for solace -- on a good day. But I also know that on a bad day, he takes them out on you. It's understandable, but it's also more than you should have to take -- or give. You're thirteen. You are smart and mature, but you are not a psychologist, a superhero, nor a mom.

Since you do truly care, make sure he knows that he has resources -- maybe the school guidance counselor ?-- available to him. Then do what you need to do for numero uno. If you need support, I betcha your mom will be there for you.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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