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Dear Breakup Girl,

If One has been married for 26 years, has two wonderful grown children, a loving wife and is committed to both the wife and the family ... but whose heart has has really been captured by another woman -- no sex or hanky panky -- what should one do? The other woman has been a close plutonic [sic] friend for ten years and she is a soul mate. I'm 51 years old and completely stressed by the continuing long term dilemma this has created. Interested in your perspective!!!

-- One

Dear One,

I was going to say that in the interest of preserving your marriage, you should keep this relationship "plutonic" -- that is, keep a distance of approximately 4,681,000,000 miles. But BG.com psychotherapist-in-residence Belleruth Naparstek reminded me that there is a middle ground: "ENJOY THE CRUSH. Keep the nice platonic buzz going. It's the piquant flavor of the day. Why let self-induced melodrama about having to 'get somewhere else' with this turn a lovely relationship into anguish?"

In other words, let this Venus of yours orbit at maybe162,000,000 miles.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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