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Dear Breakup Girl,

About 15 months ago I met this wonderful man, 20 years older than I am. He is married but we have been having an affair. Both of us agree that it is the best relationship either of us have ever had. I am completely in love with him. He says he really cares for me, which he does, but I think he is afraid of saying that he loves me. He also does not want to leave his wife. We broke up once for a few months but then the force of attraction brought us together again.

But it is not easy, as we are both tormented by guilt, while finding it almost impossible to let go. This relationship is very serious, I mean it's really great and everything I ever wanted -- we like each other's company, we talk a lot, we laugh a lot, we like doing the same things, and the sex is fantastic. We are really compatible. But the sitiuation is driving me crazy. I don't know what to do. Please advise.

-- Ileana

Dear Ileana,

This guy is not everything you ever wanted. "Everything," I'm thinking, would probably include "available." And would probably not include "tormented by guilt."

Look, the sadness of losing/missing someone bruises your heart, but guilt -- as you well know -- eats your brain. And your body. And your soul. Take a piece of advice from the Amityville house: "GET OUT!"

Love,
Breakup Girl

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