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Dear Breakup Girl,

I've forgotten what it felt like to be in love. Is it possible I've forgotten how to fall in love ? I was sitting (alone) in a small bistro, when I looked over at a young couple at the window table and thought, "Awww...I remember when." Then it hit me -- I didn't (remember, that is).

Five minutes later I felt a chill, and was suddenly afraid nobody would ever touch me again. Perhaps a touch melodramatic, but the fear remains.

-- Klutz

P.S. The last time I tried to ride a bike I fell off.

Dear Klutz,

Hey, kiddo, some people wish they COULD forget what it's like. What you had, I'm sure, was a garden- (or urban-) variety chill-in-a-bistro moment -- with, yes, a side of drama -- wherein a sudden gust swirled up from their table and into your fume blanc. I'm sure you just "can't remember" because there's no one there to remind you...which, duh, is the problem. But when she does show up, it's not like you won't remember how to ride a bicycle built for two.

Love,
Breakup Girl

NEXT LETTER:
"I have this feeling that I can't get over him -- like it's against the laws of physics."