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Dear Breakup Girl,

I am divorcing soon. I want to keep my soon-to-be ex's name as my surname, yet he wants me to revert to my maiden name. I think the name is unique and also don't want to go through the hassle of changing everything over to a new name. Any advice?

--Clare

Dear Clare,

Ooh, are you Tina Turner (nee Anna Mae Bullock)? I mean, there's someone who had every reason to want to unload a nameful of bad memories and to divorce -- in every sense of the word -- her identity from someone else's. And yet: compelling professional reasons to keep the name that had become so big. And that perhaps had also become, with or without Ike, hers.

So is that your deal? You may or may not be a rock star, but has his name truly, deeply -- professionally or personally -- become yours? (And have you asked your attorney to what degree (a) a name change would/n't affect your credit, or (b) your ex has a legal say in the matter?) Beyond that, hey, it's your name, it's your call. Really. But if it's just because you don't want to "go through the hassle," well, let's just say I wouldn't want you to make a name for yourself as the wife who wouldn't quite let go.

Love,
Breakup Girl

 
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