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Dear Breakup Girl,

How do you tell when a guy likes you? There is this guy who all my friends say likes me, but he never talks to me. My friend says it's because he's shy, but I don't know. We went on a field trip yesterday to Boise, and the whole trip there, he would look at me and then look away when he said that I noticed. I would really like your help. I have a feeling he may be "the one" I'm supposed to be with, but I'm too confused right now.

-- Cherokee Ray

Dear Cherokee Ray,

Sometimes you can tell when a guy likes you because he comes up to you and says, "I like you." Or says, "Hi. Let's go out." Or "What's your number?"* Or, "Pepper and onion, lovers' discount."

But if you think guys always make it that clear, I'll sell you some beach front in Boise.

See, liking someone is scary. (Heck, being liked is scary -- that's why you wrote!) Especially when you're new at it, and when you're worried about whether that person likes you back. And the more you psyche yourself out and don't want to know what they have to say, the more you don't say anything to them.

That's why people sometimes do the opposite of what seems logical when they like you -- that is, not talk to you, not look at you, generally stay as far away from you as possible. And since he is not doing all of those things, I'd say the chances are pretty good that he does like you.

Now, as to whether he's something big and fancy like "the one," don't worry about that. Think of him as someone ... you might have a nice time with. That's all. Pressure off, at least a little? Then I'd say that one encouraging mini-flirt on your part -- I dunno, just up and talk to him once, about nothing important -- might give him the confidence-boost he needs to step forward. He won't last long in his own private Idaho.

Love,
Breakup Girl

*Less reliable.

 
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