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Dear Breakup Girl,

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of seven months. It's painful, but as I look back, I see some red flags. For instance, when he agreed to meet me for a blind date, he described himself as six feet tall, yet turned out to be 5'6. Plus he wears lifts in his shoes which is a little weird. He also said he was a bear hunter, but I later find out he's never hunted a bear in his life. I mean, I know guys try to impress us, but isn't this a little strange? Should I have stayed away after the first date? Is the lying about his height a major red flag?

-- Sig

Dear Sig,

I'd say the main red flags would be the facts that

(a) he apparently didn't think you'd "notice" the height discrepancy, and

(b) he considered "bear hunter" a plus. I mean, never mind your animal rights position; just think of the rugs. Eeek.

That said, I think we've all learned that personal ads and their cousins (i.e. pre-blind date introductions) are to some degree (to draw an analogy from First Amendment law) more in the realm of, say, "political cartoon" (i.e. "opinion") than, say, quantifiable fact or truth. Narrow leeway permitted here, though not encouraged or recommended.

And Sig, surely --  given the emotional crick in your neck caused by his height (about which he is clearly insecure, so sue him) --  there must have been some in-person chemistry that surpassed and persisted. So sue you. Prevailing wisdom --  "Ding ding! Heed alarms!" vs. "Aw, give the guy a sporting chance" -- can change like the wind. So no need to go hunting for self-blame. Nurse your wounds, and when you're reading, open the season on singles again. You'll find someone whose love will lift you higher.

Love,
Breakup Girl

 
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