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Dear Breakup Girl,

In your comic, you told Paul the Intern that he set himself up to be the "nice guy friend" by taking on too many friendly activities and not being direct with women about his intentions. My question is, what should a girl or boy do if they're constantly being mistaken for a homosexual? Obviously, there is nothing wrong with being gay, but it puts a dent in one's sex life if one is heterosexual and perceived to be the opposite. This is a difficult question, I am sure, but I thought I'd ask just to see. If you can't suggest anything, I think I'll make myself a big sign that reads, "Straight as an Arrow."

--Here to Stump You

Dear Here to Stump Me,

Just for the record, what I'm stumped about this week is why everyone is still trying to wrest some sort of "What has love come to?" meaning out of that show "Who Wants to Be on TV So Badly They'll Overlook Consequences of Same?" But more than enough about that.

And more about you. Okay, how annoying. We're surrounded by women whining, "Why do I always fall for the gay ones?" and "Why can't my boyfriends be more like … Will?" … and yet here you sit with no taker for your point-making extra ticket to The Annabel Chong Story.

But if you think about it, it's possible that a percentage of this misconception derives from the very meta-misconception I just cited. As in: "Hmm! He's nice! And single! MUST BE GAY."

So no need for signage. I know you were 99% kidding, but any such overt declaration could be met with "Boy, is he fighting it!" snickers. Instead -- and this is going to sound like non-advice, I know -- try and take it in [manly] stride. Try too hard to adjust your behavior, even the stereotypically gay-indicator thingies, and you'll just look and feel weird. At the end of the day, it's not that people won't be drawn to you, even (initally) for the wrong reasons; it's the ones who matter, and who LIKElike you for the right ones, who'll stick around. And if they make a TV show out of Who Wants to Marry Rupert Everett, Have his Baby, and Possibly Change His Mind?, don't audition.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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