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Dear Breakup Girl,

I have had a close female friend for the past few years on whom I've developed a huge crush. She has an off-and-on again boyfriend with whom she does not seem to be totally in love. During one of their off times, I told her I was interested in her, and she replied that she likes me too, but that "it felt weird" and "it was too soon." I, fortunately, speak girl-ese. Translated that means: "I'm interested in you only as a friend, and I'm just letting you down easy." I can deal with rejection. But it's hard to be friends with someone when you want more. I don't want to blow her off as a friend because I enjoy her friendship, but at the same time, hanging out with her drives me crazy, especially when she is with her boyfriend. Should I drop the friendship to preserve my sanity or is there a way to be "just friends" and satisfied?

--Unsatisfied Friend

Dear Unsatisfied Friend,

Unfortunately, I think you're probably right in your translation; but, while we're defining our terms, that's actually not so much girl-ese as Rejection Esperanto, Euphemism dialect (which straight boys tend to hear from girl speakers, and vice versa).

That said, you could actually apply her words -- as truth, not code -- to your situation ... for which there is a middle ground. As far as going back to "normal," right now, well, it does feel weird! It is too soon! But that doesn't mean you have to drop the friendship. For now, hang out with her ...a little less. And with fewer of her ... boyfriends. The sting/tingle may never vanish completely, but give yourself a break -- and a chance to meet someone who totally speaks your language.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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